All I Want For Chrisas is to kick your ass

Cybermania Despite watching a shit-load of wrestling this week, I don’t have enough good clips for a proper Botchamania so here’s a look at the Taboo Tuesday/Cyber Sunday PPVs from 2004-2008 instead.

Music…

“Cruis’n Shuffle” by Uncle & the Bacon

Vote or Die by South Park

Turd or Douche by South Park

On paper, these fan-voted PPVs were a good idea that ended up offering little in the way of interesting matches or choices and usually ended up as ”so your choices are normal match, submission match or NO HOLDS BARRED STREET FIGHT, go ahead and pick any match you feel like NO HOLDS BARRED voting for.” It rarely felt like a feud was getting settled and more like dragging something along and shoving a gimmick into it to squeeze every drop out of what’s left. Cyber Sunday 2006 and it’s WWE Champ vs. World Champ vs. ECW Champ triple threat match had even the bairns watching their first wrestling show go ”well there’s no way any title’s changing hands in this”. If it hadn’t been for December To Dismember that year, Cyber Sunday would have walked away with the title of Shittiest PPV Of The Year 2006 easily.

It wasn’t all doom, gloom and Vader falling over though. Edge losing the public vote to HBK for a World Title match against HHH was the start of Edge’s glorious prick run, turning on the fans for picking injured HBK over healthy Edge and then interfering in the match to make sure he really didn’t win was gold. Also, bizarre as it sounds and looks Snitsky looked like the beast WWE wanted him to be in his match with Kane on Taboo Tuesday 2004. He won the match, broke a chair over Kane’s throat which caused him to spit up blood and then knocked over the stretcher sent out to help him. If it hadn’t been for the whole baby-killing thing Gene may have been something. Also King Booker trying to get Cena to team up with him against Show and accepting Cena’s demand of one night with his wife is great comedy, only upstaged by the I JUST KICKED STAN segment the same night.

In The Sandman’s 2007 shoot interview he claimed when he was up for vote with Benoit and Kane to wrestle Umaga, none of them knew who was going to wrestle until the vote was announced on the PPV. Bit crazy. And also of note, Christian’s appearance at Taboo Tuesday 2005 was his last for the company he was one of the possible votes to wrestle Snitsky and Chris Masters and was there without a contract. He got a quick ”goodbye” interview backstage and he went to TNA. Just as well he wasn’t voted in eh?

And let’s not forget the Austin vs. Coachman feud ending with Batista beating Coachman because Austin was asked to lose to him and presumably his reply was ”are you fucking kidding?”

So there was a lot of interesting things surrounding the PPVs, shame little of it ended up in the ring. Oh and finally in the Misc. Notes Section, Taboo Tuesday 2004’s attendance of 3,500 still remains the smallest announced crowd for a WWE PPV.

Actual Good Matches To Watch

Shelton Benjamin vs. Chris Jericho 2004

Ric Flair vs. Randy Orton 2004

Ric Flair vs. Triple H 2005

John Cena vs. Kurt Angle vs. Shawn Michaels 2005

Finlay vs. Rey Mysterio 2007

Triple H vs. Umaga 2007

Batista vs. The Undertaker 2007

Triple H vs. Jeff Hardy 2008 - OST Left 4 Dead 2 - Midnight Riders All I Want For Chrisas is to kick your ass